Family Love


I watched the movie "Aftershock" this morning with my parents and it was worth watching. The story was adapted from a novel of the same name. The story takes place in 1976 when the boy-girl twins, whose father was killed in the earthquake, were trapped under a slab of concrete. The mother could only save one and she chose the son. Her daughter was later saved and survived miraculously, subsequently raised by a military couple.

After the earthquake, the mother raised the boy on her own, feeling guilty towards her girl and missing her husband. Her son lost one arm but still worked very hard to improve the living conditions of his mother. The daughter felt hatred to her mother after many years and was under great pressure as an unmarried mum in society. The twins finally met again when joining rescuers in the Tangshan earthquake in 2008. The complex feelings that the daughter felt when reuniting with her mother after 32 years made me reflect on family love.

In the gay community in Hong Kong, friends seldom talk about their parents and many of them love to live alone. Some parents don’t even know the sexual orientation of their gay son. Homosexuality is really a complicated issue in traditional families. My parents were always “annoying” before the confirmation of my infection. But after that, they are reason why I can’t die.

What is “filial piety”?

I give my parents ten thousand dollars per month and buying them a new home next year.
I can’t give my parents much money but I gather with them in every festival.
I give my parents no money but I ask them none also because my life is really not good.
I talk with my parents on the phone every day and feel contented of listening to their voices.

There are different answers to everyone, and my version is I do not want them to have a hard time because of me.

Gay means I can’t carry on the family line.
Being unemployed means I can’t bring parents a rich life.
Infected with HIV means I don’t know whether I can be with my parents when they turn old.

My parents do not give me much pressure. The thing I can do is to meet them as often as I can. Dining at home, staying home watching TV, etc. Being with them, I can feel the family intimacy.

When’s the last time when you drag your mum’s hand?
When’s the last time when you drink with your dad?
Have you ever heard of your parents’ love story?
What are the stuff that your mum and dad like?

~Ching Long~”